Limericks
A lim'rick's not hard to define
But it needs to do more than just rhyme
It's the meter that matters
the pitters and patters
If not, you're just wasting my time
-Fred Hornaday
Bangalore Ballads
1
Old Colonel Martin D’Mello
Is usually a jolly good fellow
But It takes two chotta pegs
And a fine set of legs
To make him nice and mellow
2
Vijay the old advertising writer
Is a very predictable blighter
At Pecos he sits
With his beer and titbits
In the company of his ‘Kings’ and his lighter
3
Ram Singh the neighbourhood Gurkha
Is married to Shameem with a burkha
He’ll work through the night
And come home back home ‘tight’
And she’ll yell “ Thooo you Bewarsi Kudka”
4
Says Aunt May sipping her drink
I’m quite the catch, don’t you think
I need a young man
With cash in the can
A dodgy heart and a Grandmother kink
5
Nagraj the cop on the beat
Is someone you don’t want to meet
He’ll book you anyway
Unless you will pay
For his mistress who lives down the street
6
Lakshamma’s business is simple
She sells her flowers at the temple
An’ The church and the mosque
At the very same cost
If you ask me, she sets a good example
Malayalee Meter
1
Jose the Achayan sat drinking
And all the while he kept thinking
About the maid up the tree,
Till he saw Ammachi.
And then what was growing, started shrinking.
2
Shiju the Gulf-returned Mallu
Often wore his ‘mundu’ askew
When he climbed trees
He enjoyed the breeze
And everyone else enjoyed the view